My very dear friend Paulette Hopple died on Thursday morning. It was sudden, yet not unexpected. For 20 years she’d had a death sentence over her because of a rare form of scleroderma which had attacked her lungs. Through much prayer God gave her more strength, vim and vigour than most of us without any disease. She was someone who never did anything by halves… it was always full on.
I’ve always been impressed with her keen interest in people, and no matter who they were she wanted to know them, was concerned for them and wanted to encourage them in whatever way she could. I remember on a visit with her earlier this year in Mae Sai. She would always speak with the beggars who’d come across from Burma; she wanted to know who they were, what language they spoke and what were the circumstances of their life that had brought them to begging. Invariably she would give them some money or pay for a good meal for them. I found this care about people to be quite overwhelming.
She had been serving God in Asia. While on a 6 week trip for language data collection and a literacy workshop she experienced increasing difficulty with breathlessness at the slightest exertion. She knew it was bad but did not stop until completing the literacy workshop in which training was given to speakers of the ethnic language with whom she worked. These folk were being trained to be literacy teachers for their own people in their own language. After this her breathing become more laboured and she ended up in hospital. Her heart was unable to oxygenate her blood and gave out just after midnight December 18.
I miss her, and will continue to do. She was a good friend to me. We’ve been friends since being in grad school together in the mid 70’s, so it’s been a long blessing.
All her friends and colleagues around the world are in shock, and feeling deeply the effects of sudden loss. Though it seems as if her life was cut short, it wasn’t. It was God’s time for her. It might not suit us, or make sense to us, but it was definitely God’s time.
This mornming I was reading John 14:1-3 and was impacted afresh by Jesus’ words when he said: “I am going to prepare a place for you … When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.” Jesus had finished preparing Paulette’s place and came to get her! Wow! And, I’m sure she was ready to go and knew it was time.
When will our places be ready? Will we be ready to go with Jesus when comes to get us? I pray we will. I pray I will.
Bless you all!
December 21, 2008
December 15, 2008
How does self-pity differ from the factual statement of pain and the cry to God?
Do people who can’t hear God, no matter how much they want to, have self-pity standing in the way so all they can hear is themselves and their own pain?
There are the ones who are “obviously” in self-pity because they are continuously expressing “woe is me” in one way or another. Their whole demeanour is one of “woe-is-me”, even the way they talk is very whiney. This is off-putting to others. Such people may have few friends, or if they do these friends may be suffering in a similar way.
There are others whose self-pity is not so obvious. The clue seems to be that like the “woe-is-me” people, they keep coming back to the same things and going over the same ground, like a merry-go-round that never stops for them to get off.
With either group deflection into self-pity happens often and quickly. It seems to be a protection of some sort. Self-pity has a genuine core of real and true pain but it also seems to have a blame element that shows them as the victims and everyone else as the victimiser. This self-pity seems to have a power to keep the person focused on themselves and on their pain. Sometimes it is very cleverly couched in such a way as to keep the true identity hidden. If self-pity is exposed as self-pity then the person is forced to face it and do something — make a choice to deal with it (whatever that means) or to remain in it and stop wasting the time of counsellors, friends, prayer team, etc.
How does one face and deal with self-pity? Leanne Payne’s “Restoring the Christian Soul”, Part 1 addresses this in part by identifying self-pity as a manifestation of self-hatred (and self-hatred as a manifestation of pride).
Another way to face it is to keep on acknowledging it and “putting it aside” while addressing the real issue. Initially, this will be next to impossible but with the help of trusted friends and counsellors, it can happen. As the healing progresses, the roots of the self-pity are slowly removed. As God brings his truth into the wounds where self-pity has been rooted its reason for existence is removed. Where there are demons attached to the self-pity they lose their right to remain and must leave (of their volition or be sent packing). Change should become obvious to the person and especially to others. If it doesn’t then there’s a need to investigate what is going on. Is there a lurking demon that needs to be dealt with? Is there some hidden sin? Vow? Judgement? Something? God knows and can reveal it.
If the person is only used to looking at their pain they may need help to turn their eyes to Jesus and fix them there and so learn new habits, new habits that are God-focused not self-focused.
December 12, 2008
Self-pity is an insidious thing and gets in the way of a person’s healing journey. Here are some of my musings about self-pity. I’ll add other posts about the topic in the days ahead.
Self-pity may result from self-centredness/self-focus in which a person is only able to see life from the perspective of the self. Self is at the centre of the universe, not God. In a way, self-pity is saying I’m the only one who is important and everyone else must take care of me. No one else’s needs are a consideration in any way. Self-pity blinds one to truth.
Maybe in a way it’s an emotional scrambling to prove that I have value and am worth consideration. Self-pity seems to spin out of something missing in childhood. Is it the little child’s attempts to get attention and validation? When the little child is wounded and there is no nurturing is one result self-pity? The child’s attempts to comfort the self? To give the self the attention it didn’t receive when it was needed and appropriate? Maybe. However, how is it that some people are full of self-pity and others aren’t? Self-pity may be disguised in many ways. The “woe-is-me” variety is a complaining, whining, “life is miserable” sort of thing. Is the strong silent type simply another form of self-pity — “I’m not going to let anyone near me again” sort of thing? Is this also self-pity? It seems possible.
Maybe it is that every way we seek to protect ourselves is a result of the self acting out of self-pity. All defences are self-pity based. Is this reasonable?
Some self-pity is impenetrable. Why is this so? After some healing, a person may have a better handle on when it’s happening but it can still creep up on the person because it isn’t always readily recognisable to the one who suffers from it.
Some self-pity is not easily recognisable. It may seem reasonable and rational and can take quite a while for it to be exposed. I have a suspicion that I am missing it a lot in the people with whom I pray making their healing journey longer. There are times when I think something is self-pity but it turns out not to be, and then other times when self-pity has been interfering and only as the person has identified it has it been possible to break out of the whirlpool and move forward with Jesus’ healing.
Then there’s also a religious spirit which can occur together with self-pity. That’s a hard one, a very hard nut to crack. Only God can break that one apart. There’s a self righteous justification and a deep belief that others are to blame for my pain and they must repent before I can be healed. (More about this sort of thing later.)
December 11, 2008
I recently had the chance to drive around the Great Ocean Road in Victoria. Overall it was a very wonderful experience.
Everywhere I went I found these signs reminding people that in Australia we drive on the left. I gather that overseas visitors have had trouble staying on the correct side of the road.. !
As I’ve thought more about it I’ve been struck by the message that comes through. There is a right side of the road and a wrong side. Travelling on the wrong side will result in disaster. The right side will make it possible to arrive safely at our destination.
The same is true for life’s road. Jesus Christ is the right way, travelling along the road with him is going to get us to our destination. Travelling on the wrong side of life will result in disaster.
It bears thinking about!
September 30, 2008
In Spring the trees blossom with a cascade of colours and smells. It’s a delightful time! And especially as everywhere you look there are the signs of new life, and with it new hope.
No matter how dark the path we tread or how deep the river we cross, we will get to another place. What we find when we arrive does depend somewhat on us and the choices we make. I can choose to wallow in a ’slough of despond’ or I can choose to look for whatever may provide encouragement and hope.
These particular blossoms only last a day or two… yet they have a beautiful fragrance and are attractive to the birds who come and feed on the nectar. They gave me joy just to see them and to see the birds enjoying them.
May 9, 2008
“Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7 NKJV
Our mirrors reflect the outward appearance; God’s mirror reveals the inward condition.
We need to also let ourselves see our own heart, and then allow God’s healing and cleansing power to free us from all the grief, pain, and guilt we’ve lived with unnecessarily.
October 21, 2007
Mike Evans from Wholeness Ministries has written an article on stress which I would like to include here as part of the stress series. I hope you find it helpful.
Who among us has not experienced stress? Stress at home, in school, on the job, even in church. Perhaps most especially in church.
DEFINITION— Stress: anxiety, nervousness, pressure, depression, sleeplessness. It is uncomfortable, not fun. It manifests itself in the flesh.
I. WHAT CAUSES STRESS.
Stress is a result of conflict in finances, family and job.
False expectations( self-imposed and “others” imposed).
Trust: lack of trust in regards to God, self and others.
Comparisons: envy, jealousy, pride.
Fear, perception of risk in any area of your life.
Wounds or hurts: a result of those things which are done to us by another person or some experience we have been exposed to in the past. These hurts affect us in the present in the form of bad memories, and weak or wounded emotions. This in turn leads us into various forms of sin, depression, a sense of worthlessness and inferiority, unreasoning fears and anxieties as well as psychosomatic illness, etc.II. WHAT CAN WE DO TO REDUCE OR ELIMINATE STRESS?
FIRST! Realize that our battle is a battle fought in the spiritual realm. Ultimately all that causes stress can be dealt with by knowing and employing some spiritual principles.
Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
SECOND! Create an environment that will reduce stress.
“Do not worry”- FINANCES,
Matthew 6:25 (NIV) “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?“Get rid of…” harmful RELATIONSHIPS
Ephesians 4:31 (NIV) Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.“Wives and Husbands” – FAMILY
Ephesians 5:33 (NIV) However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.“Children and Parents”- FATHERS AND MOTHERS
Ephesians 6:2 (NIV) “Honor your father and mother”–which is the first commandment with a promise”THIRD! Be willing to accept and deal with the hurts and wounds we’ve all experienced and understand the necessity of giving and receiving forgiveness. Matthew 18:15 (NIV) “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
“Be transformed–renewing of you mind”
Romans 12:2 (NIV) Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.“put off the old self and put on Christ”
Ephesians 4:24 (NIV) put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.“Put to death what is earthly in you”
Colossians 3:5 (NIV) Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.Just because we are “born again”, our mind, will and emotions are not automatically changed. Transformation is a process where we are dealing with those areas of our life that cause fear, anxiety, depression, etc.
When the Word of God comes and convicts you, how you respond to that can release stress. Submitting to what God wants, will release the stress.
III. WHO ARE WE AND WHAT DO WE HAVE AVAILABLE?
Much of the stress we experience today could be significantly reduced by dealing first of all with the past and then by understanding and accepting who we are in Christ and what that means in terms of practical, everyday living.Who we are:
Romans 8-Children of God
IJohn 3:1 Children
Eph.2:4-6 Seated with Him
Gal. 1:4 Chosen, Adopted, Sealed
Eph. 2:10 His workmanship
ICor.3:16 A Temple
What we have available.
ICor.1:7 Spiritual Gifts
Eph.6:10 Armor of God
Romans 8:26 Spirit interceding for us.
Romans 8:34 Jesus interceding for us.
2Tim.3:16 Word of God
WE HAVE IDENTITY-POSITION-RELATIONSHIP
We choose the level at which we believe this and live it. That decision will determine the extent of stress in you life and how you deal with that stress.God wants to help you overcome stress. He has given us the tools to do it. Go and try them out.
Retrieved from: Dr Grant Mullen’s Article Archive
20 October 2007
October 17, 2007
Stressers
* When control issues at stake – things out of my control => stress
* When have to do something have never done before and don’t know how to do => stress (Tapping into danger of not knowing what/how to do – an old wound?)
* When have too much to do and not enough time to do it => stress
Why have too much to do?
(1) Overcommit?
(2) Unable to say ‘no’?
(3) Tapping into a lie/wound that have to do everything I’m asked to do?
(4) Need for approval which agrees to do too much?
(5) Need for legitimacy or acceptance so take on too much?
(6) Perfectionism ? So believe can and should do it all, etc.
* When find oneself in a position way out of comfort zone => stress
* When find oneself in a position that initially enjoyable but then shifts as added responsibilities come and discover these trigger => stress (- do these tap into old hidden wounds?)
Some of the above inter-relate and there’s probably lots lots more. Looks like a lot of possible sources / possibilities of stress becoming significant in a person’s life.
Result:
- Tiredness, weariness, exhaustion
- Panic attacks
- Depression
- Physical ailment such as arthritis, asthma, allergic reactions, mysterious aches and pains, ulcers, susceptibility to infection, etc.
- Psychosomatic ailments
- Sleeplessness or restless sleep
August 17, 2007
This Healing Prayer blog has been inactive for a while. Apologies for this. Life has been a bit full for quite a while and I am now in the midst preparing to retire back to Australia later this year. After that’s happened I’ll work at adding more material which I pray will be a blessing and encouragement to all who stumble across it.
Blessings!
May 31, 2006
The following is adapted from John & Paula Sandford’s book, “Healing the Wounded Spirit”. I have found it quite useful in helping people ascertain how they feel about God. We can be angry at him without realising it. I hope this is helpful.
Checking and Dealing with Anger at God
Questions:
Let’s imagine that we existed in the heavens. All questions are to be answered silently if the person so wishes. We will discuss them later.
1. Suppose we are sitting in a group in a heavenly place enjoying the angels and the saints, the Lord enters and says, ‘I would like three or four volunteers to go to earth.’ Would you have been one of the volunteers?
2. If Jesus had presented himself before you, had said your name, and asked, ‘Will you go to earth for me?’ would you have responded, ‘Oh, boy, yes Sir, right away, Hallelujah!’ or ‘O.K. (drat!)’
3. If you had to come to earth but were given your choice, would you choose the time and place in which you were born, or some other century or country?
4. Would you choose to be born to your parents, or some other?
5. Would you choose your father? Or some other father?
6. Your mother?
7. Would you choose to be a boy or a girl?
8. Would you choose your face?
9. Your body?
10. Your mind?
11. Your character and personality?
12. If you are a woman, are you beautiful? Pretty? Attractive? Desirable? Loveable? Would someone choose you? Should they? If you are a man, are you handsome? Good looking? Attractive? Desirable? Loveable? would someone choose you? Should they?
13. Do you like you?
14. If Jesus walked up to you in the present moment and said, ‘I’ll give you your choice. You can either go all the way through life or straight up to Heaven with me right now,’ which way would you choose?
As we ask these questions, we tune in our spirit to the other’s spirit to sense by empathy what he really feels. Sometimes people are incapable of being fully honest. We may sense more accurately than they can express what they actually should have answered.
Statement:
‘In whatever degree you would not have volunteered for life on earth or would have agreed only reluctantly to come, in whatever degree you would not have chosen your time and place or either or both of your parents, or you would not have chosen the sex you are, in whatever degree you would not have chosen your face, your body, your mind or character, in whatever degree you do not think you are beautiful or handsome, loveable or chooseable, in whatever degree you don’t love you, to that degree you are angry at God. You are saying inside that He could have done a better job creating you. In whatever degree you would choose to go straight to Heaven rather than live life here, you are telling God you don’t like it here.’
Prayer:
‘Lord, we repent for rebelling against being born here on earth where you put us. We repent for not liking and accepting what you created us to be. We repent for rejecting earth and ourselves and all of earth’s experiences. We couldn’t trust your lordship, that you knew what you were doing. We forgive you, Lord Jesus Christ, and Father God, for creating us and putting us here. We repent for rejecting ourselves. We accept our bodies. Reconcile us to ourselves. Reconcile us to our time and place, our position in this earth. Thank you, Jesus.’
Sandford, John & Paula. 1985. Healing the wounded spirit. Tulsa, OK: Victory House. pp 230-1, 236-7.
Purchase the book from Amazon.
